When the past comes back to haunt you

I was grocery shopping when suddenly I caught a glimpse of a once familiar face. There, amidst cucumbers and ripe tomatoes, aided by the second verse of Abbas ”The winner takes it all” blurring out of the speakers, I felt an unusual pang of the past. The long ago, and already lived through, hope, disappointment, resignation and heartache was distilled into a second. During that second my past came back to haunt me, and it was as though all these years since had never been. I felt miserable, sick to my core, once again shivering in the cold backwash of a relationship gone bad.

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

But as that second passed, and the song continued, so has I. The winner really takes it all, and in this case, I was the unlikely winner. Warmth came flooding back, and with it an enormous gratitude. Gratitude for what once was, cause although at the time hurtful, it helped me evolve and grow as a person. Gratitude for what is: All the bounty in my life; the sense of self, the oh-so-good and loving man, the healthy and happy teenager and the friends that stuck. And gratitude for things yet to come: the making of a harmonious home, the adventures to be had, the laughs, the children, and time spent together.

I bought the rest of my veggies with a smile on my face, despite the depressing chorus.

LCHF

Until recently I had never been on the receiving end of prejudice, being a young, fairly smart Caucasian woman in the very equal rights Finland. But since turning my life into a path that has not only made me healthier and thinner (OK, not quite there yet, but I’m slimming down as we speak) that has certainly changed. It’s unusual to say the least, being the recipient of so much disbelief, disdain and even down-right patronizing amusement.

I’ve always been interested in psychology, and have always made an effort to try to get what motivates other people. Making the conscious effort of putting myself in someone else's shoes has made me get along and understand even the people that others tend to shy away from. Recently that desk-knowledge has been given a hard run of practice.

During the last couple of years I’ve grown more and more tired. Being only 33 years old, I should be hitting the peek of my life, right?! Instead, I was heading in the other direction. How many grown women do you know that naps for 1-1,5h every day? Not many I’d bet. Overweight has followed me since my daughters birth 12 years ago, and during the years my fat and my body turned into BFF:s. I was constantly exhausted, stressed out of my mind and I felt like a complete failure not being able to give my family the attention they deserve . In June 2011 you could say I was woken up. Abruptly.

Health, an illusive little word you never think about until it’s gone, made me rethink my way of living, and consequently also my eating habits. One of my favorite quotes, recently discovered, is: ” Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” (or something to that effect) So instead of listening to the same experts and doctors that were supposed to know what to do, and instead thinking outside the pre-approved box of norms and health advice, I found LCHF.


The results haven’t kept me waiting. I’m loosing weight and gaining equilibrium, feeling fuller and more alert than since, well, as far back as I can remember. Noticing my changed eating habits the questions started - And when given the answer, so did the prejudice.
I realize that hearing that something one has believed in for an entire lifetime (fat is bad) is a downright lie (fat is good, carbohydrates are pure evil) your first reaction is to fervently protect your way of life, your view of the world. We’re only humans after all and the reaction was to be expected. But, if one hasn’t done the research oneself, all I ask is that one at least considers the possibility that maybe one could be wrong. By the reactions I’ve had, varying from utter and profound disbelief to partial recognition mixed with a sad attempt at reconciling both worlds, giving up on old unproven dogmas is sadly surprisingly hard for most of us.


Sincerely,
Pepsi-Mama