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| This is not an actual quote people, the Buddha didn't actually say this, but it gets the point across. |
I like the picture, it's simple and it gets the point across. Happiness honestly comes down to those two things. Every selfhelp site on the web already know this, but it is usually phrased in the style of "stop being selfish", "concentrate on others", "count your blessings", "see the possibilities", "let go of anger" or "stay in the moment". Those are all platitudes, describing some of the End Results rather than the How To.
So then, if it really is that easy to be happy... why aren't we?
First step - what's ego? And how does one go about removing it?
I really couldn't give you an honest answer to that even if I tried. All I can say is that it has to do with our preconceived notions of our selves. I for example had always had the notion of being a kind, smart and beautiful person. (Well, don't we all? You're telling me you're dumb, evil and ugly??)
School, IQ tests and university told me so, my parents told me so, the mirror and the beauty magazines told me so. But once I realized all that they had been telling me was that I was a push-over, really good at processing data, and that I stood up OK in comparison to the current picture of beauty, what was I left with? Empty handed, that's what. Doormats and desperately needed to be loved persons are kind as well, not protesting being stepped on. Computers can process data faster than I, not to mention the even smarter people who've written the programs. Outer beauty is not constant, it peeks for most during late teens to late twenties, because that's when we're most fertile. I had believed in the hype all my life.
So I had to start over. Am I really smart? Heck no! We all know there's more to being smart than the ability to be able to grind, digest and spit out data.
Am I pretty? On the outside? Who cares?! Why is it even important? What does it accomplish? Beauty standards change all the time, and so do you with age. Some days I compare, others not so much.
Am I kind? Well turns out, once I had grown a pair - kind of, but not all the time. I try to be polite though, no need to spread negativity around.
Ego's hard to get rid of. In fact, you'll probably never get rid of all your preconceived notions of self, and even if you at one point do, you'll still have to watch out for fall-backs. You've been thinking one thing all your life, believed in it fullheartedly, so breaking out of old thinking habits require constant vigilance. And if there's one thing to be said about being human, it's that we're not constant in any way, and concentrating deeply on something lasts what? 10 minutes?
Removing the ego and the desire, or as I like to call it, rethinking everything on your own again - now that's the tricky part. Meditation helped me (some, still got some work to do) break the patterns of thinking that do not serve me on the quest for happiness, but which rather serves to cling to the first part of the problem; ego.
Once ego is set aside, desire has nothing to cling to, so you're getting rid of both steps at once. So start thinking. Who do you think you are? Why do you believe that? Who told you, and why did they tell you? Got any proof that it's the exhaustive truth? Does it matter if you're not? To whom does it matter, and why? Keep digging with questions like that! The topics to cover are endless.
I found that once I got to the bottom of who I really was, I could let go of the hang ups that were holding me back from being truly happy and content. (Yes, *Sigh*, I know this sounds unbelievably conceited). I'm a deeply flawed individual, but by realizing that, I could accept what really is, not keep fighting and faking my reality into something it is not. I could stop appearing happy, chasing happy, faking happy - and instead actually just be happy.
Sincerely,
Pepsi-Mama
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